Nic's Surgery

So Nic has had knee problems for about the last year. Had it looked at by our family doctor who stated it wasn't repairable. Finally last week he went to an Orthopedist/Sports Medicine Doctor. & yup, needs surgery to make it better. So today we had surgery at Ogden Regional. We were really excited about using different hospital (other than Davis). We were disappointed though. 2.5 hours in the pre-op room. Nurse forgot to give Nic his anti-nausea meds. Surgery lasted about 40 mins- which was what we expected. It's a laser surgery, and we had planned on him being able to go to work tomorrow & just be a little sore. Once the Surgeon got started, the tear was worse than expected, he had extra cartilage on one side, & none on the other. So one side had the extra taken off, the other had little holes drilled in the bone. It was explained to me that once the blood is able to flow in and out of the bone holes, it will soften it & be a make shift cartilage. So all the extra things we weren't planning on, caused Nic to have to be on crutches for 2-4 weeks. Bummer, Lake Powell trip is in 1 week. Dr said he could swim, because that's not putting pressure on it. --Sure, okay, we'll take it, but how to get up & down the boat ladder? Any ideas? Ni doesn't do so well when he gets put out. Hence the anti nausea meds. he is at home, laying in bed, sick to his stomach, not eating, doesn't want to take a pain pill because it will add to his nausea. Bad spot to be in. He has his leg wrapped from his foot to his thigh. It will be worth it once he can go back to playing basketball without pain.

Last Chemo

Ahhhhh, need I say more.

How is Nic feeling? Well that question has 2 answers.

1- he is feeling crappy, how could you not after chemo.

2- he feels great. having a party in his head, waiting for his body to join in.

His counts were border, so the doctor let him decide if he wanted the shot or not. We were concerned with his brothers wedding coming up, lots of germs. As the conversation progressed it was decided that the shot adds to Nic's mouth sores, by like 70%. & well there you have it. No shot.

He will have a PET scan in about 2-3 weeks & then he will have his port taken out.

He will then have scans every 3 months for 1 year

He will then have scans every 4 months for 1 year

He will then have scans every 6 months for 1 year

He will then have scans every year, for the rest of his life.

~No, this is not multiple choice, this is how it is.

Being that Monday was Labor day, it made treatment day quite busy. Not to mention that one of the nurses was sick. Sick nurses can't be around cancer patients, so she had called in. There are 12 chairs. There were 10 patients (normally there are 3 or 4) A few had to be turned away because their counts were too low or their body was in no shape to handle it. Had they all been able to have a chemo treatment, not sure what they would have done. They were also taking pictures for a new brochure. I normally don't sit with Nic through his full treatment, I go to the appointment part, then leave & go back to work & go pick him up when he is done. Being that this was his last treatment, I decided to stay. The Lady that was on my other side was coming back. She had beat breast cancer, but when she had her first 3 month scan-- bad news. It was back in 3 new places. She was a school teacher, & is a "head witch" at fright mares, and has been for the last few years. She was also in suzical the musical, as grandma who. She turned to me & was telling me her story. She said that she debated treating cancer this time, she decided that she had lead a good life & if it was her time, it was her time. Her sister convinced her to go ahead with chemo. Why not live another 5 years, & if that is all you get, won't it have been worth it? Wisdom. It was that point that I decided to break out my home made Mrs. Fields cookies to celebrate Nic's last chemo. She then kind of changed her tune. "Oh" she said. "Well Maybe we'll see you back here in another 3 months." (Okay--that was pretty negative.) The Nurse said "He's not coming back." the witch lady responded with "Why is he so lucky, why did I have to come back". silence.. how do you answer that. & why would you ask it.

Looking around I noticed that Nic was the youngest in the room by far. Would she really wish his cancer to come back to make her feel better? Hmm, didn't talk much to her after that. She was really fun to talk to, until the hopelessness & negativity came through.

At the end of the treatment, all staff, yes all of them- came out & sang happy last chemo to you, in the tune of happy birthday. I tried to get it on my phone, but I only got the end of it, & I moved my phone too much, so it didn't turn out.

Then I wondered to myself, how often do they get to sing that song. Is it offensive to anyone battling it for the 3 or 4th time, or those who are only doing it to prolong their life.

I was happy to walk out of that office, hoping to never return. The care we had there was excellent. I would recommend Dr. Stinnett & Nurse Lisa to anyone. But really, I hope I never have to go there again. I have thanked God daily if not more often for giving my family the strength to endure, and for the simple fact that I can still wake up next to my husband, and he can attend all the little league games. I have thanked him for the love and support we had from our wonderful family and friends. The last 6 months have been an earthquake that disrupted our lives, and rather than being swallowed up in the depths of despair. We made it through, and couldn't have with out you all. Please know how much we appreciate you all, and always will.

Treatment # 11

One more left-praise God!

We got there, he was doing fine. The doctor said his counts should be fine, especially after being on prednisone. Then they took blood to determine if the counts were high enough that he wouldn't need the shot. His counts came back at .8. They ran it again to make sure. The nurse told us that .8 was so low that they couldn't administer chemo. Sure there is a light at the end of the tunnel, but the last 30 days, I think they have been doing construction & we've had to take a detour. She said she'd have to get the doctor to approve it. We went from sitting there, being happy, making jokes, to sinking down in our chairs thinking negatively. The nurse said his levels had to be at a 1.5 in order to receive chemo. He was able to get the treatment. I think the Doctor secretly knew I would give his house a god toilet papering if he denied it. Or that maybe we'd never come back. So yea, we had the treatment, & Nic had to have the shot- hopefully the last one ever for the rest of his life. His nausea has been terrible, so this treatment and the last one he was given a sample medication. He takes one pill right before treatment, then one the following day & again the following day. This has been a miracle pill for him. It doesn't really take care of all of the nausea, but it keeps him from throwing up. For the last treatment I have a prescription for these pills. The nurse warned me, not to pass out when it comes to paying for this prescription... I have yet to take it in. I've got a week and a 1/2 to try and brace myself. I have good insurance, but still, I am wondering it will be anything like the $6000.00 shot, or will it be more like $150.00 for 3 pills. Either way, does it really cost that much for the ingredients, or am I paying for all of the research that went into it, & for all the research that went into pills that didn't work out.
Oh well. 1 more left, 1 more left.

I have posted a sticky note on my mirror,

1 more left!

Treatment # 10

Well, they pulled one of the chemicals from Nic's usual treatment. He won't have to have it ever again. Remember AVBD - you may have to scroll down to find that post- back in March or April. Now it is just AVD. He also didn't have to have the shot that helps out his blood cell count. Being that he took an extra week before treatment, his counts were fine. So this treatment has been a little better. Not so much chest pain. He did throw up during the treatment though.. bummer.

2 more treatments to go, never thought I'd see the day, but it's finally getting closer. Yahoo!

Treatment # 10- or not

So, some of you have heard that Nic is pretty sick.

He is not breathing well, has no energy, he is weak and achy. For him to go up or down the stairs takes more energy than he has. The blood work looks good- no infections. Chest X-ray doesn't show any negative spots. Still has a fever here and there. His oxygen level was 90, so not too good, but not bad enough to need an oxygen tank, or hospitalization. He isn't eating much, he has lost 4 lbs in 2 weeks. We were told to stop the antibiotics, they weren't treating anything. We are going to start him on prednisone- a pretty high dose to see if that will help out the breathing. If he is not showing any signs of getting better by Friday he will go in for a CAT scan to see if he has a blood clot. The other possible options are West Nile & Mono. Both of which just take time to get over.

For all those asking, what can I do to help, well my house is really messy & my walls need washing...

JUST KIDDING!

I am taking some time off work to tend to Nic, and I will be working on cleaning up when he doesn't need me.

He was too sick to have a treatment today.

He will go in for a treatment next week.

Cancer gets in one last kick

So Friday we went to the Uintah's, just as beautiful as I remember. We hiked in, &on Saturday morning, Nic felt a lack of energy & that something (some sort of sickness) was going to invade him. So we got home & he was in bed for the rest of the day. Feeling achy X 5. Sunday as I was getting ready for Cassidy's party I could tell he just wasn't right. It took more energy than he had, just to make it to her party. Last night I finally got a clue & took his temp. Yup, something did invade & was conquering. So this morning I took him to the Doctor & they ordered some tests & did an X-ray. We should hear back this afternoon. He has no appetite, he is still very achy, still feverish, and instead of breathing normally, it's more of a pant. He isn't breathing well. I will update once I hear back from the Doctor.

UPDATE:

We got a call from the Nurse at the cancer center. They can't find a reason for the symptoms. Lungs are clear, culture negative. She didn't say anything about the blood count. Just to stay on the antibiotic & go to his treatment as scheduled on Wednesday.

~ And a HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO CASSIDY!

Treatment # 9

Only 3 more to go!

So far better than last week. Hasn't thrown up, but tired and nauseous. For those of you awaiting the test results, scroll down a bit & you will find them.

Okay, Okay, I spoke too soon. No throw up, but a fever. If he still has it in the morning I will need to take him back in to the Doctor.

Test Results

Well, Doctor Stinnett called with Nic's test results.

Most of the lumps have gone down.

A few of them still look swollen.

However, the PET scan says

Nic is cancer free.

In time the ones that are still swollen will go down.

NO MORE CANCER!!!!

Unfortunately he still has 2 months of Chemo,

but at this point, who cares

LA LA LA LA LA WAHOO WOOT WOOT

* PRAISE GOD *

Thank you everyone for all your prayers and love and support. I don't know where we'd be with out you. We love you all. We are grateful to have such a wonderful support group of family and friends.

Look for a future post, once Nic is done with all chemo & the port is out, we'll be having a party to celebrate.

I love you Nic, I knew you could do it!

Pet Scan

Friday morning is the PET scan for Nic.
His appointment is for 9:30 am. Once there he will be injected with a radioactive dye. Then he will have to go lay in a room by himself for 1 -1/2 hours to let the dye move through his body. He then has a body scan that takes about 30-45 minutes. Once that is done, he is free to go. HOWEVER, he will be radioactive for 6 hours after he has the shot. So.... he can't hold the kids or let them sit on his lap or even next to him on the couch. The first time he had this done it was a little more difficult, being that it was in March. At least the weather is good enough for them to play outside, bummer that it will be so hot though, maybe they won't want to. We won't be getting the results until his appointment next Wednesday.

Treatment 8

TREATMENT 8

Only 2 more months to go-- Pending the PET scan results, which we will find out at his next treatment in 2 weeks.

This treatment, Nic was sick before he even got started. He took his nausea pills before we left for the doctor, but his body knows what is going on. After treatment we barely got out of the building before he had to vomit. Poor Nic.

Ashlee, I just had to tell you that when is ESPN magazine came in this week, I hid it until today, so he would have something to read. Last time he got it & read it twice cover to cover before his treatment, little stinker.

Changed my mind

Okay, so I changed my mind. These are the pictures, I don't think I will ever get used to the way he looks after treatment. Reminds me of Isabel during her treatment time. Just a pale look.

~Before~

~AFTER~

Yes, I know they are in different lighting, but the difference really is noticeable.

Cancer Sucks!!!!!

Another Treatment down. Only 2 more and we will have scans done again to check on the progress of these blasted chemicals. Then 4 more treatments & we should be done. I took a picture of Nic Before treatment started, & I took one of him on the way home. My point was to show you all that gray/green hollow look he has once he has finished treatment. It crushes me every time I pick him up from treatment. Such a drastic depressing change. I decided not to post them, because they were taken with my cell phone, so the pictures aren't all that great, and Nic asked me not to. He doesn't like they way it makes him look. I agree, I HATE the way he looks after.

Today's treatment was the worst thus far. When the nurse tried to get blood from his port, she didn't get any. She tried positioning him differently & a few other things. none. She thought maybe some blood had clotted, and gave him a *heparin soak.* she she gave him a shot of that in the port & let it sit for about 10 mins. & still nothing. So, she decided that the port must have been up against the wall of the vein, & took blood from his arm. So that prolonged the length of the treatment. He also had to take a nausea pill at the office. He has never had to do that before. Once the treatment was done, he got another heparin shot. So he now has to be extra careful & try not to bleed. He has been laying down all day. Cassidy & Trent both told me they don't feel good & have been down on the couch. So, we are over using the sanitizer in hopes that Nic doesn't get sick.

Cancer treatment # 5

Nic is doing well on his weight & tolerance of chemo. His red blood cells were a little low, but the shot will take care of that. He was feeling yucky last night, his complexion was a grayish green- as it is after every treatment.
I didn't get a chance to talk to him yet this morning, but I am sure there is quite a bit of sleeping going on.
I happened to get a call from my brother Aaron last night, so for those also curious as to his wife's condition, she is doing well. She has learned, just like Nic had to, that overdoing it, will only make you feel worse. They just moved into a new house, & 2 days later, she had brain surgery. After a few weeks of being down and taking it easy, she was trying to un-pack & do a little painting to make her house a home. She learned all too well that she need to let her body take it one day at a time. As Aaron asked me how I was doing, well, same as you I figure & told him so, we both seem to have a full plate. He gave me a little chuckle & said he no longer had a plate, he had a table. And that the table can get bigger at any time, there is always room for more. I thought about it, a wave a nausea came over me, as I was thinking, I just can't handle anymore. I don't want a table, I'd like to throw & shatter the plate I have (2 maybe 3 times, glue it back together, so I can run over it.). Thinking about that phone conversation later on, I thought about what was on my plate-- Was it all necessary to be there? Would I be happier if some things were taken off? My conclusion, I am happy with everything I have. Sure this cancer thing sucks & it is a struggle, but I have already learned so much & have a stronger relationship with my family. Not to mention a whole new meaning to humble, compassion, gratitude and love. This is a life experience that will give me wisdom in my older age, and the strength to get through what else life has in store. Now, when I say older age-- I am talking 32 maybe 34. JUST KIDDING. I will still be learning things at that age fa-sho (a shortened and much cooler way of saying for sure). I am sure he didn't know it, but thanks for calling Aaron, you gave me some positive insight on the current stage of my life. Your phone call was the answer to my and so many other prayers for some much needed strength and optimism.

Thursday

Nic is feeling icky. He woke up, made a few calls, ate, took pills, & went back to bed, then woke back up had lunch & more pills & back down. Then he will get up and lay around, because he is tired of sleeping. This has become a ritual for the day after chemo.
How am I feeling, you ask? 95% better than yesterday. I have been drinking water, and I ate good food. I slept well last night. Am I stressing?-- As much as can be expected. I am going through the medical bills & matching up receipts, statements and bills. I sure love my insurance.
For the weeks to come-Starting next week, I will have Cassidy's pitching machine on Tue & Thurs & Trents baseball on Wed & Fri. That sure makes for a full week, for many weeks to come!

Treatment # 4

Treatment # 4- Completed

Only 8 more to go!

So far so good, however, I am sure come tomorrow morning, it will be a different story.

It's a good thing too, that Nic is doing well. I seemed to have developed what I would say is one of the top 5 migraines I've ever had. I get them here & there, & my pills usually take care of them. I rarely get to the point where I am sick to my stomach & vomit. Well, my friends, today was that day. A sick to my stomach migraine. I took a double dose of my medicine. It took the edge off enough that I could still function- as I vomited. Then the time came for me to take more. I took a different kind, I haven't thrown up since, and my migraine has gone down to a headache. I will certainly be taking a sleep aid tonight, so I can wake up refreshed tomorrow.

What caused my migraine-- Well when I concentrate or get ency, I grit my teeth, too much of that is not a good thing. If I don't drink enough water, that is a contributor, if I don't eat right (too much MSG or don't eat when I need to) another contributor. When I stress (which is every other Wednesday and then some). I happened to do all of the above today. It makes for a great reminder that I need to take my water bottle to work, & make time for breakfast and lunch, try to relax a little, and calm down. Sounds easy right?????

Treatment # 3

Nic had his 3rd treatment today. He is feeling pretty crappy right now. Once again, I was able to watch the color drain from his face. He goes in healthy & feeling alright, comes out looking a little pale and grayish, feeling icky. Oh well, 6 months of hell for a healthy long life after, right- I'll take it!
I asked Dr. Stinnett about Nic's counts. They were low this week, as was expected, but nothing like last treatment. He said his counts were @ 8000 this week (for white blood cell), & last treatment they were at 2000, the other count-- red blood cell?? not sure what the other count is, but it was at 200 last treatment and 800 today. Sooooo that helped me to see just how low they were last time. I guess healthy/normal is around 15,000, which we won't be seeing in Nic until a few months after treatments have been completed. We were told he will feel worse after each treatment & so far I agree, each treatment it has taken him longer to feel better. He also got the shot again, the one that makes him feel like ---well, whats worse than crap??, I guess we'll stick with crap x 2??
He did gain another 2 lbs-- he is almost up to his pre-cancer weight. Keep the good food coming!!

Migraine

Well, Nic experienced his first ferocious migraine last night. I think now when I get one, he'll be a little more sympathetic to me. His doctor told him that for the duration of his treatment he needs to stick with Tylenol treatments, no aspirin or Ibuprofen. Those who suffer from migraines

-insert laughing and snorting here-

understand how effective Tylenol is on a migraine. By the time I got home he had taken his max dose for the time being-- meaning the Tylenol based narcotic he could have taken, he wasn't able to take. ( I think he forgot he had some). I gave him all my suggestions and tips that I use,

-insert laugh again-

because they are not normal, they are little oddball home remedies. Or witchcraft as Nic likes to joke. He tried a few that took some of the edge off. But by the end of the night gave up & took some Alka-seltzer, which has Ibuprofen & Aspirin, but was able to sleep well. He woke up this morning with a small headache lingering, but after that, a headache is tolerable.

He has his treatment at 1:30 today. I'll post later if I get a chance.

GERMS

HOUGHA HOUGHA HOUUUUUUGHAAA
Not sure what other word describes that. This is the sound Cassidy was making this morning before having had anything to eat. Nothing like throwing up from the pit of your empty stomach. Her little flu bug was either hiding for the last 2 days or she caught another one. Either way, we are pretty lucky that no other family members have caught this- Especially Nic. So far anyway. She is feeling better, but still has some of the issues that go along with the flu. We are hoping all is well by the weekend, she has her first ever dance competition. Fun Stuff. Nic & I were able to get a little work done in the yard, I mowed the lawn, with our awesome new mower ( Thanks Mark & Kristin) & Nic tilled & raked out the garden, so we can hopefully get in some planting this week, or weekend. I also got to get in some cooking today, something I really miss, now that I don't have as much empty time. I made roast beef with carrots & potato's, rolls & pasta salad. YUMMY! I also got a chance to make some fresh Strawberry Jam.. 1 batch last night and one today. One more to go- Tomorrow.
Feeling very accomplished for the overall weekend, since we figured Nic would be out of service. He's done very well, kind of ignored his fatigue, but by the end of the night, pays for it.

Nic

Well we finally got Nic's shot approved and he got it today. Only time will tell if it ends up being a painful one or not. He is still feeling tired-- well more like wiped out.

Thank You for the meals this week:

Mike & Lisa and Family

Mark & Kristin and Family

John & Crystal and Family

Thank You for watching Stockton:

Kim C

Monica

Mom

Kim W

It's only 7:20 am

So far, Cassidy has gotten up 5 times to throw up. This last time she didn't even get up for it, just threw up in her bed. I am now washing her sheets while she takes a bath- I am also spot cleaning the carpet. I woke up Nic to give him his nausea pill, & he has a headache, not feeling well either. So I called in to work, because I have to do my best to keep these 2 forces of evil apart. Because if they reunite & cross germs.... Well, in my head I am picturing a scene from Independence day. But I am sure you all get the idea. So that is my day so far. Hopefully the insurance will approve the shot for Nic, so he can get it today, and even then, I will still need to keep the forces of evil away from each other. Hopefully Cass only has a 24 hour thing, I don't think I can go all weekend.... So ya, it's only 7:20 & I feel like I need a nap. That will come after I Clorox my house.