Friday, September 11, 2009

Last Chemo

Ahhhhh, need I say more.

How is Nic feeling? Well that question has 2 answers.

1- he is feeling crappy, how could you not after chemo.

2- he feels great. having a party in his head, waiting for his body to join in.

His counts were border, so the doctor let him decide if he wanted the shot or not. We were concerned with his brothers wedding coming up, lots of germs. As the conversation progressed it was decided that the shot adds to Nic's mouth sores, by like 70%. & well there you have it. No shot.

He will have a PET scan in about 2-3 weeks & then he will have his port taken out.

He will then have scans every 3 months for 1 year

He will then have scans every 4 months for 1 year

He will then have scans every 6 months for 1 year

He will then have scans every year, for the rest of his life.

~No, this is not multiple choice, this is how it is.

Being that Monday was Labor day, it made treatment day quite busy. Not to mention that one of the nurses was sick. Sick nurses can't be around cancer patients, so she had called in. There are 12 chairs. There were 10 patients (normally there are 3 or 4) A few had to be turned away because their counts were too low or their body was in no shape to handle it. Had they all been able to have a chemo treatment, not sure what they would have done. They were also taking pictures for a new brochure. I normally don't sit with Nic through his full treatment, I go to the appointment part, then leave & go back to work & go pick him up when he is done. Being that this was his last treatment, I decided to stay. The Lady that was on my other side was coming back. She had beat breast cancer, but when she had her first 3 month scan-- bad news. It was back in 3 new places. She was a school teacher, & is a "head witch" at fright mares, and has been for the last few years. She was also in suzical the musical, as grandma who. She turned to me & was telling me her story. She said that she debated treating cancer this time, she decided that she had lead a good life & if it was her time, it was her time. Her sister convinced her to go ahead with chemo. Why not live another 5 years, & if that is all you get, won't it have been worth it? Wisdom. It was that point that I decided to break out my home made Mrs. Fields cookies to celebrate Nic's last chemo. She then kind of changed her tune. "Oh" she said. "Well Maybe we'll see you back here in another 3 months." (Okay--that was pretty negative.) The Nurse said "He's not coming back." the witch lady responded with "Why is he so lucky, why did I have to come back". silence.. how do you answer that. & why would you ask it.

Looking around I noticed that Nic was the youngest in the room by far. Would she really wish his cancer to come back to make her feel better? Hmm, didn't talk much to her after that. She was really fun to talk to, until the hopelessness & negativity came through.

At the end of the treatment, all staff, yes all of them- came out & sang happy last chemo to you, in the tune of happy birthday. I tried to get it on my phone, but I only got the end of it, & I moved my phone too much, so it didn't turn out.

Then I wondered to myself, how often do they get to sing that song. Is it offensive to anyone battling it for the 3 or 4th time, or those who are only doing it to prolong their life.

I was happy to walk out of that office, hoping to never return. The care we had there was excellent. I would recommend Dr. Stinnett & Nurse Lisa to anyone. But really, I hope I never have to go there again. I have thanked God daily if not more often for giving my family the strength to endure, and for the simple fact that I can still wake up next to my husband, and he can attend all the little league games. I have thanked him for the love and support we had from our wonderful family and friends. The last 6 months have been an earthquake that disrupted our lives, and rather than being swallowed up in the depths of despair. We made it through, and couldn't have with out you all. Please know how much we appreciate you all, and always will.

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